I recently asked my followers what lies they tell themselves as writers. And I was kind of amazed at the responses I received over Twitter, FaceBook and email. I wasn't amazed by the amount of responses but by the similarities of the responses. It became clear we all struggle with similar things. Thank goodness, though, for our creative TRIBE who can set us straight when we need to hear truth. So, this series is going to be called "THE LIES WE BELIEVE" and ways to counteract those lies.
So...There you sit....WRITING.
Maybe a novel. Maybe a screenplay. Maybe a short story. A speech, even.
And then THE VOICE hits your brain and whispers to you.
"What are you doing? You're not good enough for this. You're not a talented writer. You're not smart, You're not even funny. No one's even going to read this. You think you're gonna get an agent with this? Or win a contest?"
And then you sigh. And put down your pen. Or close your computer. Or throw chunks and chunks of paper away. And stomp off to contemplate even bigger questions like, "WHY AM I EVEN HERE?"
You're spiraling.
But stop. Don't do it. Trust me! And here's why.
What you're experiencing is NORMAL. Especially if you're a person with creative tendencies.
What you're experiencing even has a name. And let me warn you! This gets worse before it gets better. (But isn't that true for anything worth doing?)
SO WHAT IS THIS?
It is IMPOSTER SYNDROME (also known as imposter phenomenon or fraud syndrome)! This syndrome came to light in 1978 when two clinical psychologists created the phrase after noticing that many people had a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud" or a "fake" at their job, despite them having achieved some level of external success. This fear of being exposed, of people "figuring them out," was enough to cause them to be unable to internalize their accomplishments. Their doubts would literally paralyze them.
If they only knew the "real me," they'd never let me write this speech...
OR
Even though I won this writing contest, it was a fluke...
OR
This book/short story/script may have gotten good reviews but they'll figure me out the next time for sure...
It's tough, right? And to make it worse, I think the IMPOSTER syndrome has 2 distinct parts:
- the first being, "I'm never going to be good enough ever to achieve anything," and then,
- once we do experience a "win" (be it big or small), we tell ourselves that was a fluke as well.
So, as creatives, how do we battle against this negativity in our head, against THE VOICE that tells us that our work isn't valid unless we've achieved a TANGIBLE measure of success (i.e. gotten representation, gotten published, etc.) and even IF/WHEN we do, we still feel like we're a fake? Or even worse, that we don't believe we deserve the success we've experienced?
I struggle with this quite a bit, and I could bet you do too.. So, here are six TANGIBLE WAYS TO COMBAT Imposter syndrome as a creative type, using COMBAT as a mnemonic device. You will Confront, Orient, Monitor, Borrow, Avoid, and Test your way out of the Imposter Syndrome. LET's GO!
1. CONFRONT reality.
The reality is this: CREATIVITY IS SUBJECTIVE! Simply, this means you can't please everyone. And that should be a huge relief because it allows for a lot of options!!!! SO, when it comes to that voice in your head telling you that you aren't good enough, or that no one will read your work, remember the words of the great William Goldman: "In Hollywood, no one knows anything. No one...in the entire field knows for certainty what's going to work. Every time out, it's a guess."
And I think this truth is awesome. It's the first step to combatting Imposter Syndrome.
TIP- Since NO ONE KNOWS what necessarily works, you're in great company! I love it. We could technically all be on the same playing field (more or less) and that is refreshing.
2. ORIENT your perspective.
Once you know that you are in good company and that no one knows much in terms of what REALLY works every time {creatively speaking}, you can allow yourself to feel some relief. Yes, some people may have more experience than you, but there is only ONE you!
So when that voice tells you to stop, tells you that your work isn't valid, ORIENT your perspective. No one else is you, or has lived your life, or has had your personal experiences. USE THAT.
TIP- If you haven't checked out Jen Grisanti's work, she has an awesome book entitled Story Line: Finding Gold in your Life Story that is truly empowering for creatives attempting to fictionalize their own truth. This empowering activity is an actionable item which can help combat Imposter Syndrome (in that your individuality is unique) and leads us to our next point.
3. MONITOR your activities.
When you feel like giving in to the these lies of "you're a fake" or "you're not good enough," counteract them by monitoring/keeping track of the things YOU ARE doing to work towards your goal of getting better/practicing your craft/etc. I'm lucky to be a part of an awesome accountability group made up of writers, actors and directors, and every week, we email out what our goals are, what we did in the past week, and what we will do in the following week to work toward achieving those specific goals {whether it be to sell a screenplay, book a role, go on x amount of auditions, etc.}.
When you sit down and force yourself to take into account all that you're doing, you can see what you are or are not doing to work towards your goal, therefore combatting imposter syndrome. It gives you a reality check for sure, but also gives you assurance that you can't be a fake if you are actively moving towards your goal. Here are some ideas of things you can keep track of:
4, BORROW from others.
When you feel like you've run out of things to keep track of, or you're truly at a loss for knowledge, don't be afraid to BORROW information from friends or colleagues, {with their permission of course}. I remember recently I was headed into a meeting with HBO and was definitely nervous. I called several other writers/development execs that I knew, and asked how to prepare and what to expect during the meeting. It helped greatly. And, no matter where you are in your career, you most likely have SOMEONE to reach out to.
TIP- If you truly know no one, social media is a great resource for crowdsourcing. Ask a question and tag a few people and you may be pleasantly surprised when they answer you!
5. AVOID comparison.
An easy way to combat Imposter Syndrome. Simply don't compare yourself to others. You aren't them. I remember when I first started, I looked at my colleagues who either had different experiences from mine, or had simply been in the business longer, and truly wondered why any person would choose to work with me! But the truth is, we all have differing abilities and gifts, and you need to remember that. Play to your strengths.
TIP- This may seem cheesy, but save those voice mails, texts, emails or handwritten cards from your friends or colleagues in which they thank you, congratulate you on an achievement, or acknowledge some milestone you have passed. On those days when you feel like you shouldn't be doing your job for whatever reason, pull them out to remind yourself that SOMEONE took the time to acknowledge your achievements.
6. TEST yourself.
And lastly, in the spirit of adventure, when you feel like you aren't good enough, or shouldn't be doing what you're doing, or that people will realize you're as bad as you think you are (which you aren't, by the way), shake things up and try something new! Often times, when you engage in an activity you aren't used to, it reminds you that you actually ARE decent at what you've been doing all along! OR maybe you try something and find out you're actually even better at the new task. Either way, it's a win/win. You learn something new, or confirm to yourself that you are doing just fine where you are.
TIP: If you're a novelist, give a short story or screenplay a try (or vice versa). It'll be interesting to see how the differing formats play to your strengths and weaknesses. These types of exercises can give your brain the reset it needs to gain a fresh perspective.
Seriously, we all doubt ourselves at times, but Imposter Syndrome never helped anyone {unless you truly are a fraud- then we need to talk!}
I hope this helps you see your creativity in a new light! Because hear this:
You don't have to attain perfection or mastery to be worthy of the success you have achieved. We are all works in progress!
I hope you'll join me for part 2 of this series, The Lies we Tell Ourselves: UnMet Goals.
And as always, please feel free to share in the comments about how you combat Imposter Syndrome if there was something I missed! Till next time...
Happy Writing!
Whitney
"Everyone has a story. Write yours."
The reality is this: CREATIVITY IS SUBJECTIVE! Simply, this means you can't please everyone. And that should be a huge relief because it allows for a lot of options!!!! SO, when it comes to that voice in your head telling you that you aren't good enough, or that no one will read your work, remember the words of the great William Goldman: "In Hollywood, no one knows anything. No one...in the entire field knows for certainty what's going to work. Every time out, it's a guess."
And I think this truth is awesome. It's the first step to combatting Imposter Syndrome.
TIP- Since NO ONE KNOWS what necessarily works, you're in great company! I love it. We could technically all be on the same playing field (more or less) and that is refreshing.
2. ORIENT your perspective.
Once you know that you are in good company and that no one knows much in terms of what REALLY works every time {creatively speaking}, you can allow yourself to feel some relief. Yes, some people may have more experience than you, but there is only ONE you!
So when that voice tells you to stop, tells you that your work isn't valid, ORIENT your perspective. No one else is you, or has lived your life, or has had your personal experiences. USE THAT.
TIP- If you haven't checked out Jen Grisanti's work, she has an awesome book entitled Story Line: Finding Gold in your Life Story that is truly empowering for creatives attempting to fictionalize their own truth. This empowering activity is an actionable item which can help combat Imposter Syndrome (in that your individuality is unique) and leads us to our next point.
3. MONITOR your activities.
When you feel like giving in to the these lies of "you're a fake" or "you're not good enough," counteract them by monitoring/keeping track of the things YOU ARE doing to work towards your goal of getting better/practicing your craft/etc. I'm lucky to be a part of an awesome accountability group made up of writers, actors and directors, and every week, we email out what our goals are, what we did in the past week, and what we will do in the following week to work toward achieving those specific goals {whether it be to sell a screenplay, book a role, go on x amount of auditions, etc.}.
When you sit down and force yourself to take into account all that you're doing, you can see what you are or are not doing to work towards your goal, therefore combatting imposter syndrome. It gives you a reality check for sure, but also gives you assurance that you can't be a fake if you are actively moving towards your goal. Here are some ideas of things you can keep track of:
- how many hours you wrote or edited your work in progress.
- how much social media or in-person networking you did.
- how many email you sent to colleagues/industry professionals.
- how much research/prep you did for upcoming projects.
- and the list could be endless.
4, BORROW from others.
When you feel like you've run out of things to keep track of, or you're truly at a loss for knowledge, don't be afraid to BORROW information from friends or colleagues, {with their permission of course}. I remember recently I was headed into a meeting with HBO and was definitely nervous. I called several other writers/development execs that I knew, and asked how to prepare and what to expect during the meeting. It helped greatly. And, no matter where you are in your career, you most likely have SOMEONE to reach out to.
TIP- If you truly know no one, social media is a great resource for crowdsourcing. Ask a question and tag a few people and you may be pleasantly surprised when they answer you!
5. AVOID comparison.
An easy way to combat Imposter Syndrome. Simply don't compare yourself to others. You aren't them. I remember when I first started, I looked at my colleagues who either had different experiences from mine, or had simply been in the business longer, and truly wondered why any person would choose to work with me! But the truth is, we all have differing abilities and gifts, and you need to remember that. Play to your strengths.
TIP- This may seem cheesy, but save those voice mails, texts, emails or handwritten cards from your friends or colleagues in which they thank you, congratulate you on an achievement, or acknowledge some milestone you have passed. On those days when you feel like you shouldn't be doing your job for whatever reason, pull them out to remind yourself that SOMEONE took the time to acknowledge your achievements.
6. TEST yourself.
And lastly, in the spirit of adventure, when you feel like you aren't good enough, or shouldn't be doing what you're doing, or that people will realize you're as bad as you think you are (which you aren't, by the way), shake things up and try something new! Often times, when you engage in an activity you aren't used to, it reminds you that you actually ARE decent at what you've been doing all along! OR maybe you try something and find out you're actually even better at the new task. Either way, it's a win/win. You learn something new, or confirm to yourself that you are doing just fine where you are.
TIP: If you're a novelist, give a short story or screenplay a try (or vice versa). It'll be interesting to see how the differing formats play to your strengths and weaknesses. These types of exercises can give your brain the reset it needs to gain a fresh perspective.
Seriously, we all doubt ourselves at times, but Imposter Syndrome never helped anyone {unless you truly are a fraud- then we need to talk!}
I hope this helps you see your creativity in a new light! Because hear this:
You don't have to attain perfection or mastery to be worthy of the success you have achieved. We are all works in progress!
I hope you'll join me for part 2 of this series, The Lies we Tell Ourselves: UnMet Goals.
And as always, please feel free to share in the comments about how you combat Imposter Syndrome if there was something I missed! Till next time...
Happy Writing!
Whitney
"Everyone has a story. Write yours."
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